Lets Talk BOOKS

TBR Spotlight: Throne of Glass series



Welcome y’all to TBR: SPOTLIGHT! This feature is where I choose a book or series that currently stands in my TBR (to-be-read) pile that I’d like to highlight. Today, we’re looking at the highly recommended, HIGHLY gushed about, fantasy series by the lovely Sarah J. Maas – Throne of Glass! First two books are currently out (Throne of Glass & Crown of Midnight) and recently, the prequel compilation to the series, The Assassin’s Blade is out.

Coming out in September is book three in the series (out of six today–not including novellas), Heir of Fire. Upon confirming this on Goodreads, I scrolled down to see some of the comments…I’m scared. Apparently, the ending of book two-Crown of Midnight-leaves you with overwhelming feels and need for the next book. Now, I fear possibly embarking on this journey this weekend. At least, September isn’t too long from now but I need that rich uncle in my life so I can have ALL THE BOOKS! ALL THE THINGS!

Back to the series. I’m a book cover snob. I’m sorry but I’m so not sorry. Here’s the thing. I am a very visual person. Book covers need to speak to me. They tell me so much. When publishers put out (and I mean now, not before. I get them being bad before but now…with graphic artists and technology? No excuse), when they put out crappy covers, doing the poor book and author NO JUSTICE, it makes my heart sad…and REALLY scared that if I ever do get published, I may get screwed with a bad cover. *quivers lower lip at the thought and fear*

The first book in Sarah J. Maas’ series – Throne of Glass – suffered a slightly cheesy cover incident on it’s first run. Here it is…


Now, it had potential. It most definitely was not the worst I’ve seen but the model is just too…model-y. She’s too cute, TRYING to appear bad ass and well, she doesn’t. At. All.

Oh God…I just noticed for the first time her fist…she’s squeezing her fist like she’s trying to flex her knife hugging bicep. Oh dear God.

Well, thankfully, someone took note and soon after, a reprint of paperbacks revealed a VERY different and VERY appropriate cover, which surprised me. I’m not usually into drawings of people on covers but I’m also NOT a fan of real life cover models. Most times than not, they look cheesy. But this…well…


Hella-Yeah! Now, THAT’S what I’m talking about! Compare the girl from the first cover to this redesigned cover. Holy Moly. BAD. ASS. Now, I WANT to read this! I’m curious. I want to be as cool as THAT girl right there. Give me the book, now. That’s great marketing!

Going with the theme of this new cover change, the books that has followed are BEAUTIFUL! I love these covers so much. Here is book two – Crown of Midnight.


And so far, my favorite of them all…the prequel compilation – The Assassin’s Blade


I want that cloak. I want that outfit. I want to carry blades. I want to look like that, strutting towards my enemies like a BOSS! Then, there’s the third book of the series coming September – Heir of Fire


I love now, the clear, cohesive theme between these covers! I’m excited to see how once the series is complete, what they’ll look like on my bookshelf. I purposely don’t know a whole lot about the series. I know it’s fantasy. I know there’s a kingdom. I know there seems to be a love triangle of sorts between a prince, this girl (MC), Celaena, and some guy whose name I can not pronounce, Chaol. Celaena seems to not be a wilting flower but a kick ass young woman who I’m sure will be facing a fun assortment of life and death adventures and circumstances. I bet she’s going to rile things up for the kingdom.


The booktube community raved about this over and over again. By the second book–with the new covers–I was curious for sure. Once the prequel came out and everyone gushed some more, I knew I needed to check this out. I fell in love with the covers (duh) and am curious about the romance set in the midst of this high stakes world.



Sarah J. Maas is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Throne of Glass series (Heir of Fire, Book 3, will be out in September 2014). Starting in Spring 2015, her New Adult Fantasy series, A Court of Thorns and Roses, will be published by Bloomsbury as well.
Sarah lives in Southern California, and over the years, she has developed an unhealthy appreciation for Disney movies and bad pop music. She adores fairy tales and ballet, drinks too much coffee, and watches absolutely rubbish TV shows. When she’s not busy writing, she can be found exploring the California coastline with her husband.


I planned on finishing the LUX series this weekend. I still do but I’m itching a little bit. I…I think I want to start this series but fear I’m going to KICK myself when I get to the end and will be DEMANDING for book three. This indeed seems to be the recipe of one hell of a BOOK HANGOVER.

I’m torn. I want to finish The Giver before I see it in theaters. I want to finish Daemon and Katy’s story –LUX series- and I want to start this series. The weekend is only three days. I am not superhuman. Hmm…

Well, this concludes my first, TBR SPOTLIGHT feature! Tune in weekly or bi-weekly as I share another TBR pile resident with you all. Cheers! Here’s to reading ALL THE BOOKS!



Random Story Thursday: Starbucks

Hey blogger buddies!

I had an idea today. I had a random experience while going through the drive-thru at Starbucks and was laughing to myself upon exiting. Of course, my first instinct was to run to Twitter and nonsensically share it with a bunch of people who follow me who probably–let’s be honest–could care less but that’s what we do! It’s the beauty and freedom of Twitter. Say what you want. If they don’t like it, they usually leave you, I mean, Unfollow you.

Anyhow, upon contorting my mind trying to figure out how to share this entire venture in 140 characters–wasn’t going to happen–I came up with a New Feature for zee ol’ blog.

RANDOM STORY (insert day of the week): (then topic)

So, here it is, folks! More nonsensical ramble that you too, probably don’t give a hoot-n-nanny about but this too is the beauty and freedom of blogs! Pretend we’re not alone and sharing our stories with someone…anyone…you there? *cue crickets*

Buckle your seats or whatever, cause it’s story time kiddos!

Memo: I know I have build this random story up and apologies because it is most definitely uneventful. Just random ridiculousness. IMAG4004-Drive-Thru-video-ordering-Starbucks-17-Feb-2013

It was a long day in August. The sun was high, bright, blistering it’s heat upon us in our tin can cars and errands took over my life on this non-special Thursday, late afternoon.

After my last errand, during one of my stops at the light, I scrolled through Instagram out of sheer boredom. All of twenty five seconds at a stop light and how does one ever survive the inactive seconds without social media. Ha. To think there was a time, not. that. long. ago. we used to silently contemplate life more than tune out our thoughts with scrolling fingers. Hey, I’m just as guilty, hence I can talk about it. *wink* 

I saw an iced coffee shot and well, like the true coffee addict that I am, I knew it was time for a pit stop. I drove up and placed my order at the Starbucks drive-thru. Then (of course, scrolling social media in between stops), I reached the front window and waited for my drink and for them to take my money.

The big burly guy with the cool beard who I’ve seen a few times at this location opens the window. We have a momentary awkward almost exchange. I have my money ready in the same hand he’s trying to hand me my iced coffee and straw. Clearly, both can not be done simultaneously right now–the handing of the drink and taking the money.

I apologize and switch money between hands and reach for my coffee.

“You’re good. Here, take it,” he says.

I don’t quite understand so I grab coffee, place it in cup holder and reach over to hand him the money. He’s backing away from the window,

“You’re good. Just take it,” he insists.

“Really? You sure?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says, backing slowly out of window as though he just handed someone something in the get-away-car and told them,

“Take it! Go!”

I say, “Thank you,” awkwardly trailing it as I pull out of drive thru.

Starbucks Invests Heavily In Drive-Thru Market

So here’s the thing. I’ve been hooked up occasionally at Starbucks locations where they know me because….well, I tend to be widely known as, “a regular”. Yeah, it’s sad, I know, but we’re not talking about my Coffee IV needs, okay?!? For real though, I’ve brought newbies with me and when the baristas have recognized my voice through the drive-thru intercom, I’ve been given baffled looks where I just grin, giggling like a guilty person. On with the story!

Even though I recognize the barista from this particular store, I haven’t really gotten chummy with anyone from that location before. I wouldn’t be weirded out at any other location but this caught me off guard. There wasn’t even fun, witty banter at the window to warrant this act of generosity, hence I’m doubting the act.

My paranoid self starts wondering what just happened? Is something wrong with my drink? Why did you give it to me as though you were handing me an object from a murder scene that’s evidence and you need to get rid of it because the Po-Po are coming to check out your area? (Don’t worry. I’m laughing at my own ridiculousness. I’m not taking this too seriously)

Then, a theory came to me. I bet…

I started thinking as someone who used to work as a barista. I reached over for my iced coffee with milk–sweetened by white mocha, not classic syrup–and tasted it.

starbucks random blog
Suspiciously eyeing drink…

Theory confirmed.

I know what happened here. Mr. Barista most likely–especially, considering the time of day–probably was on his last bit of iced coffee. You kn0w, the watery last bits. Re-brewing the iced coffee batch is not an option. It’ll take too long and usually, once they’re done with the two pitchers from that morning or afternoon, they’re done for the day. Depends.

Mr. Barista gave me the last bit of watery iced coffee and felt bad. Which is nice of him. So, knowing this, he did not find the drink worthy enough to charge me for it. Once tasted, I could taste the watery concoction, mixed with the milk and white mocha. The coffee flavor was pretty much nonexistent. Now, I could have driven back and raged but it was free. What the hay? I took it and I’m still drinking it.

The end.

I hope you enjoyed “RANDOM STORY THURSDAY” with me! I hope because there may be more of these on a more frequent basis. *grins* Some more interesting than others, I’m sure. Welp, that’s all for today.

The next posts I’m planning is another new Feature called:

TBR Spotlight!

I’ll highlight a book or series on my TBR (to-be-read) pile and talk about why it’s even on my TBR. Also, stay tuned for another “If We Were Having Coffee” post where I gush about my current events with you as if we were two friends having coffee…hence, the title. Get it? Right. Okay!

Happy Thursday!

Lets Talk BOOKS


book talk banner

It’s been a little while since I’ve written a Book Talk. Two reasons–scratch that–three reason for that: 1. Life. Life’s been…well, it’s been “special”. 2. I’ve been on a New Adult trip this summer. Many ‘yay’s’ and MANY more ‘nah’s’. None really that make me want to Book Talk about them so hence, the silent treatment on the blog in regards to Book Talks. 3. Writing! I was writing a lot these past two months because as many of you know, I finished my draft for book one! *skips up and down* Still surreal.

Anyway! What are we talking about today? Well…



From the glittering streets of Manhattan to the moonlit rooftops of Paris, falling in love is easy for hopeless dreamer Isla and introspective artist Josh. But as they begin their senior year in France, Isla and Josh are quickly forced to confront the heartbreaking reality that happily-ever-afters aren’t always forever.

Their romantic journey is skillfully intertwined with those of beloved couples Anna and Étienne and Lola and Cricket, whose paths are destined to collide in a sweeping finale certain to please fans old and new.


Let’s review the companion series at a glance, shall we? 


Anna and the French Kiss was my favorite of the first two. I loved the setting in Paris. I loved Anna and her personality. I loved St. Clair and his charm. He frustrated me and equally made me swoon. Lola and Cricket. In Lola and the Boy Next Door, I loved Lola’s quirky style. I love that she was unapologetic about it. I loved that Cricket loved it. Cricket was truly the quintessential ‘boy next door’. He was just wonderful. I liked their story. I liked the characters. I LOVED Anna and St. Clair’s cameos! In the end, it left me wanting but I still enjoyed it.



I love the quirks Stephanie Perkins gives her characters. I thought it was cute that Anna has a gap in her teeth and that St. Clair is shorter than her. Lola dresses in costume every day of her life and she’s as blind as a bat–like me–without glasses or contacts. Isla is shy, awkward and so short compared to Josh.

At first, I didn’t remember who Josh and Isla were…then, as I read ISLA and the HAPPILY EVER AFTER, it all started coming back to me. Josh was the slacker who was dating Rashmi!!! OMG! That shocked me. Isla was the shy redhead who helped Anna. This was SO cool to now be embarking on their journey within the same settings we became familiar with in book one, Anna and the French Kiss.

Let’s talk ISLA and JOSH

(Keeping this as SPOILER-FREE as possible)


Seriously. Page 2, guys. Page, freaking, two. I don’t think I have ever written a Goodreads status so early on in a book, ever. I was already laughing, cringing, begging Isla to stop the crazy. The mortifying, ‘please stop talking’ verbal vomit that ensues when you’re shy, awkward, and around the guy you like. IT WAS WONDERFUL!

I literally Instagrammed Chapter 2 page. Why? Because it was HILARIOUS. Because the entire page and chapter was one sentence. One brilliant and hilarious sentence. No worries. It doesn’t give anything away…See?

ISLA chapter 2

As it says in the Synopsis, this chance encounter in Manhanttan during their break from SOAP (School of Americans in Paris) is what starts off the book. It’s full of awkward, fun, delirious charm. Next thing we know, we’re back in Paris. It’s their Senior year and the chance meeting three months ago remained a one time thing. With Josh on the mind (as it has always been since freshman year), Isla and best friend Kurt go back to their usual routine. They’re not popular. It’s Isla’s mission to never be noticed because it’s safer that way. Enter Josh. Finally, they see each other for the first time since that summer evening and our story takes flight!

I love how the first half of the book builds on their possible relationship. We’re instantly thrown into their story and not needing to wait for so many outside, individual circumstances to finally bring them together. We get swoon worthy moments almost instantly. Let me say this. Stephanie Perkins, I did NOT know you had ‘sexy’ in you! ISLA definitely ups the blush factor compared to the first two books. I have giggled, gasped, swooned, smiled like a fool, and then blushed through elevated breathing. Ha! Thank you Mrs. Perkins for Josh. Interesting how in ANNA, I barely blinked twice at Josh. I saw him through outsider’s perspective. He was–in my head–some delinquent slacker who skipped class and sketched a lot. Oh, and made out with Rashmi in public–a lot. That was about it.

Now, seeing Josh through Isla’s perspective let’s you see the real him. The him no one cares to notice or figure out but Isla does. She always has.

My Immediate ‘Feels’ Once I Finished Reading



I don’t remember the last time I felt SO giddy at the end of a book! Perhaps Anna but I think…I think, I am more giddy with Isla! Right now, Anna and Isla are tied as my favorites for different reasons. I loved how much of Isla and Josh actually being together we get to see, which is rare in contemporaries. That wasn’t a SPOILER either by the way, because the back of the book tells you they are a couple dealing with long distance, family drama, indecision about their futures and whether or not they have a future.

I gasped OUT LOUD so many times–each, with a different emotion. I will just say; EPIC CAMEO moments, ever! This was SUCH a satisfactory read and conclusion to this companion series. My expectations were high, my friends and not only were they met, they were also exceeded!


I give this beauty a FIVE out of FIVE stars! If you just need something to make you smile and feel ridiculously giddy, Stephanie Perkins does it right! I highly recommend all three books but right now, I am pushing hard the ISLA recommendation.

And that concludes my SPOILER-FREE gushing of this fabulous book! This will definitely be a re-read in my near future to which I may then gush in a full on SPOILER post because I NEED to share the goodness with someone!!!

Happy Reading!



isla and the happily ever after selfie



I wasn’t sure if this would happen. I sacrificed coffee–COFFEE, people–and food and gathered into secret places of my wallet so I could get Isla when she came out. After reading some buddy book bloggers–who got early copies–gush about this last edition to this amazing companion series, I knew I needed this. I needed to meet Josh and Isla…or, re-meet them from what I hear. Very. Interesting.

Check out Jamie’s of The Perpetual Page-Turner, awesome spoiler-free review of the book here!

Click image to enter for some GIVEAWAY Swag!

I remember being apprehensive about reading Stephanie Perkins. I had heard of Anna and the French Kiss and how everyone gushed to pieces about it. The book community convinced me to give this cheesy title and at the time, cheesy cover book, a chance. I am SO glad I did! I think it is almost accurate to call Stephanie Perkins the YA Jane Austen of our generation. She just knows how to write these feel good, real stories that make your heart swoon and smile. There are many ‘feel good’ or what some call, ‘fluff’ stories out there but Stephanie does it right! She gives us our happily ever after and then brings the other characters you’ve fallen in love with along for the ride with each new book.

After a rough couple weeks, and a sucky Thursday, I am now retreating from the world and escaping to Isla’s. I went and treated myself to cupcakes & coffee. Now, the pj’s come on, light background music plays, and on to the reading!

sweet times cupcakes

Who else got their copy of Isla today? Are you reading it tonight too? 


A Jane Austen Girl Living in a Sex in the City World

Great new blog & 1st post by my best friend, Heather!

Little Darling Diaries

I know the title screams cliche, but it’s the best one I could come up with when trying to explain to my co-workers why I am on the verge of 28 and still single. To be honest, I’ve reached my limit. I’m at the breaking point, because if I have to hear one more person tell me they don’t understand why I am not married or pat me on the back and tell me it will happen when I least expect it, I’m going to light it up and burn it down. I will go all Office Space on someone if I get one more “well intentioned” suggestion on how to find and keep a man. Trust me, no one is more aware than I am that my ovaries aren’t getting any younger, but my problem is bigger than my lack of trying, the city I live in (which is…

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August Wish List: Books and Movies

August Wish List:

So many good things I’m excited to come out this month and all I can do is squirm and rock back and forth in a corner like a crazy person and contemplate robbing a bank. Okay, not really but boy, do I need more money in my life for ALL THE THINGS! Of course, all my desires have a general theme: BOOKS! Of course…I mean…duh.

Here goes…it’s a short list but so many feels!



Ha! Well look at that! The bookish gods bestowed on me a random check that came in from some return and I actually got to get the DVD! This made my heart SO happy…so at least, I got one down…now, only two more to go.

Oh the swoonage of Four. I had missed thee.

2. DELIVERANCE by C.J. Redwine


I have been SO beyond excited about the finale of this series. I love CJ Redwine! She’s aweosme and hilarious. This series took me by surprise because normally, fantasy isn’t my go-to genre but what sucked me in? Rachel and Logan. One of my favorite YA couples. And Logan…Oh, Logan. I miss him. The second book ended in a place of peril. I NEED to know what Logan and Rachel are gonna do! I’m also ready for the feels! I need this book in my life. It releases August 26th. I don’t know how, but I MUST make this happen. *she weeps and whines*

3. ISLA and the HAPPILY EVER AFTER by Stephanie Perkins


This. Two more days…THIS.

I…Need…This. I absolutely fell in love with Anna and the French Kiss. Such a cutesy contemporary in the best of ways. Stephanie Perkins knows how to write cute, fluff your heart, swoon teen romance. Love it! This is the last of the three companion novels. EVERYONE MAKES A CAMEO! Especially after I read Jamie of The Perpetual Page-Turner’s non-spoiler review of it…Yeah…made the need and anticipation worse.


And that’s it folks. Short and sweet! August is testing my dwindling wallet. If I can make these happen, my heart will feel complete. Then of course, the following months will roll by and I’m sure other book “needs” will present themselves but shhhh, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

What are your August bookish needs? 


Depression Misunderstood

The stigma of Depression…


“Think positively…stop being so negative…you can try harder…don’t be lazy…if you really wanted to, you would…”

Where does that leave the one suffering with Depression? Feeling guilty, overcome, a bother. You feel like something’s wrong with you and you need to get your stuff together or “figure it out” or “fix it”, only, well, easier said than done.

RIP Robin Williams


The interwebs have gone off at the sudden and sad news about Robin Williams’ death which is presumed to be due to Suicide. Between Twitter and Facebook, I’ve seen many shocked and tender hearts sharing their love of this talented man’s work that bestowed us with years and years of joy, laughter, and perspective through powerful dramatic roles. I mean, this man excelled in his craft, for sure. There have been a few filtered through, ignorant and just sad (sadness in humanity, sad) comments out there too.

rip robin williams-dead poets

Some have gone as far to say that it was “selfish” of Robin Williams to have committed suicide. Others think Depression is a “stupid” reason or condition for someone “like him” to have had. I’m not going to condemn people for having their opinions. The point I do want to make in this post is about the medical condition that is Depression.

The web is sounding off on the issue of Depression tonight. It’s interesting to see when something like this occurs, all those who equally suffer, coming out of the wood works. It’s beautiful actually.

I don’t get offended with those who have never suffered, or known someone to understand this terrible disease. It is an extremely complex sickness that is real. It’s a chemical/hormonal imbalance in the body that looks different for everyone. For some, if can seem very apparent but guess what? For most, it’s visually discrete and is more of a deep parasite eating away at the person inside, while they fight to please or fake it for everyone on the outside because they feel a weight from other people’s expectations–falsely placed or not.

The sad part is, what is available out in the market to “help” depression (because it doesn’t seem to be something you can infinitely cure, yet) only works for a very small percentage. So once again, shame takes over and those around you never understand how you can be “normal” one minute, and suddenly fall so deep and so far down emotionally for a season at the drop of a hat.

Here’s the thing. Those this happens to can’t explain it to you either. It sneaks up on them. They usually can’t pinpoint the trigger. They don’t even acknowledge it as a Depression episode until MAYBE after, if they sit back and contemplate about it. You just think you’re having a “normal” bad day, or bad week. As a girl, you blame that time of the month as a possible culprit. (Which ladies, yes, that’s possibly one trigger due to the hormones, but not the root of it)

If you haven’t guessed by now, the reason I’m expressing all of this is because…I suffer from Depression.


It took until my twenties to even get diagnosed with it. I have suffered from many health issues since I was a preteen. All those years, I had no answers, understanding, idea of why I suffered the way I did. I was twelve and writing morbidly in journals about giving up on life. Twelve! Why the hell would a twelve year old want to end their life already? I didn’t have a traumatic, or horrible upbringing. It wasn’t perfect but by no means to the extent that would “justify” someone so young wanting to give up before they’ve even begun.


I always got the,

“Stop being negative. You need to learn to think more positively. Stop being lazy. Be more social…”

And so on and so forth. These statements (and then some) only increased my negative view of myself. Depression also hurts physically. Your body, your bones, your muscles, ache. You don’t sleep well but can sleep all day, every day. For each person, of course, it’s different. For me, in addition to all my other health issues piled on top of the chemical imbalance provoking my Depression, I would go through seasons struggling to get up for weeks at a time. I never spoke about it because any past attempts resulted in misunderstandings or just plain clueless-ness to what I’d express, or try to. You convince yourself it’s in your head. You convince yourself you just need to learn to crawl out of your shell and look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, try at life like everyone else.

You try and try and feel like a failure every time a new episode would crash into you unexpectedly like a wave. Next thing you know, any effort and progress you feel you made gets obliterated and you’re back at square one. The thought of “trying” all over again is so heavy and discouraging, you crawl in your comfy hole for as long as life will let you, until it forces you back out because, well, life isn’t made for those who suffer Depression. It’s like an Introvert living in an Extrovert world.  As an Introvert, you have to learn to be more like the Extrovert to “succeed”. It’s like a Lefty (left-handed person) living in a Right-handed world. You grow up being forced to learn how to use right-handed scissors, etc. All these examples, I speak from experience which is a little funny. I’m not bitter about any of it, just trying to paint a picture here.

In the end, there is no answer or glorious epiphany or a blow your mind conclusion here. Just facts. Just feelings. Just truth.

Depression is real.

Dramatic image of a sad teenage girl crying

It is a medical issue, not an emotional issue. Keep your gasps in. Let me explain. The stem of it is not an emotional issue. Hence the stigma says, “Get over it.” Why? Because, we have control of our emotions. We can train ourselves to react and feel certain things in a certain way. Again, why people who do not understand think you can just “snap out of it”.

It is a legitimate, medical issue that is still struggling to find a productively consistent and definite cure. We never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. It is so easier to put on a mask and play a part in public.

Here’s another stereotypical misunderstanding. Someone suffering can still be kind, friendly, even appear outgoing. These are genuine characteristics someone suffering can possess. It’s the going home at the end of the day, curling up at night with your thoughts, no other voices, where it many times manifests. Where no one could see or witness because it’s all internal. Deep within.

Okay, now I’m just venting and rambling. I never share about this or my personal struggles. Only those extremely close to me know, but I felt it was one; good for me to let it all out and two; someone may benefit from this rant. Who knows?

Compassion. It’s the best thing any of us can do for anyone in this world because again, one never knows what the other suffers behind closed doors. Even if we don’t understand someone’s thoughts, ideals, life decisions, actions…compassion. A little can go a long way.

In regards to getting help…well, that too is easier said than done. I have seen TONS of doctors since my preteen years and though some tried, (some more than others because it seems a doctor’s willingness to care only goes as deep as my pockets which, weren’t deep) none have ever been able to help all of my issues. It becomes discouraging to continue seeking for help where many have failed time and time again for over fifteen years.

Depression is a very complex illness. I’m still fighting it every day. Sometimes, finding the little things that bring you joy are the things you hold on to with dear life. You focus on them, give yourself completely to them, not giving in. For me it’s always been writing.


Writing and Reading–they’re my solace, my lifeline at times. Movie nights with either my closest friend, Vanessa or my best friend/soulmate, Heather. Other times, it can be music or theatre. The arts have always been life giving oxygen that pumps through my veins. Whenever I have access to them, I dive in, soaking them up. As the beautiful and wise beyond her years, Esther Earl said,

“Just be happy, and if you can’t be happy, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with the people that make you happy.”

It does make me think…wonderful people who could have done so much, contribute so much more in the world than me, got only a certain number of days on this earth…but I’m still here. I, for God knows why, get to stay and live. Then again, life is short and can be shorter than others. Books like ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ made me think about perspective, about little infinities. I get encouraged to push through, fight and make my infinity worth it and memorable for me. Push against the things that scare me. Say, “screw it!” to other people’s expectations and pursue the things that make me happy, at least. That’s where I’m at.

Life is made of choices. Those choices in turn, make up moments. Moments string together like constellations and create a timeline that echoes in the vastness of the universe. It’s all so big and we’re so small. All we can do is choose today. Then, when tomorrow comes, we choose tomorrow. Little efforts, hopefully will lead to great moments. Don’t get overwhelmed with the vastness of it all. Choose today. Be happy today, and if you can’t be happy, as Esther Earl (who died of cancer at 16) said, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with people who make you happy. It’s how I get through my day to day.

I leave you with this. I’ve been jamming to this song my friend Vanessa showed me. I love the bridge. It’s been my inner voice’s anthem. Enjoy the song below!

“I don’t know where I’m going, but I know where I’ve been.

And it’s never in the knowing, it’s in the not giving in.

And when the earth is slippin’, trippin’, right underneath our feet

Remember we’re not finished, we’re not finished.”

May those who suffer from Depression find hope for another day and may other’s become more aware of this medical condition. May we all find more compassion within us towards others and even towards ourselves.