For those who’ve been around reading about my writing journey, you would know how it’s been a bit of a struggle. Editing. Flippin’ editing. I tried. I fought to make it happen. It took a long while to realize, the changes and rewrites necessary for my dystopian story was going to be a HUGE project for the benefit of the story, I also came to terms with the fact that I’m just not ready to write it. I mentioned in a recent blog that I finally made peace with that and chose to focus on my post-apocalypse story first.
Though I made the decision, there was much prep work I needed to do. It had been many months since I last drafted and worked on that story. I needed to refamiliarize myself with it. There were some character mapping and history that I needed to figure out and write before diving back in. Well, last night, I did it! All the prep work is done and I’m ready to start drafting where I left off–chapter 5. I’m really excited for this story. It’s a challenge. It’s darker than what I’m used to writing but I just feel it in my bones; it has great potential to be good. That’s where the pressure intimidates now. It can be really good…only, if I make it good.
I’m squirming, staring at that blank page thinking, “Oh, please let me do this story justice.”
I shared details with my close writer friends and they’re excited and mentioning how good it sounds and I’m like, “Yay…holy shnickies, can I deliver now?” It’s why I was being so meticulous about the important details and making notes everywhere so I wouldn’t forget to write in said details.
Today is the day.
As freaked out as I am, I have all the tools I need. I need to trust them and remember, the first draft will be shitty and that’s okay. I need to give myself permission to write shitty, as my friend told me. Editing will be my friend. I don’t fully believe it yet because it knocked me on my ass last time but the revision process will be my friend because that’s where I’ll be able to move things, take things that didn’t work out, add what’s necessary and make my manuscript all pretty and shiny for her one day debut.
Here’s to finishing chapter 5!
HAPPY WRITING, EVERYONE!