I lost her.
No, I didn’t lose her. I threw her away.
She was my best friend.
I was never supposed to fall in love with her.
I was careless.
She was heartbroken.
I thought I was doing fine. But here she is, years later, forced to work with me, reminding me why I fell in love with her in the first place.
And this time I’m going to do everything in my power to never let her go.
I have so many conflicting emotions when it comes to this book. They bounce back and forth as days pass. I may need to include SPOILERS in this review in order to fully explain, vent, whatever, all these feels that are at war with one another. I will be sure to mark those moments where I will be delving into a major SPOILER.
Before delving into ‘Paper Hearts‘, a free e-novella called ‘Torn Hearts’ is currently available with your e-book purchase of ‘Paper Hearts’. (On Amazon at least it is) ‘Torn Hearts’ is a short 45 page novella that drops the BOMB plot twist that sets up Mia and Jensen’s journey in ‘Paper Hearts’.
First, let’s talk about these covers! Every cover in this companion series thus far have been absolutely STUNNING.
Of course, being the Cover Slut that I am, I have been eyeing these puppies for quite some time now. An author group I’m apart of were on a ‘Paper Hearts’ trip. It was just released earlier this month and the hype was huge. I was waiting for some book money to come in so I could finally dive in and join everyone, who apparently are madly in love with Jensen. I wanted to meet Jensen. Shoooooot.
This book. THIS. BOOK. There is so much beauty and frustration in this book for me. Books like this teach me a lot about myself. It sheds some light on where I stand on certain issues or circumstances that may come up in a relationship.
In the prequel novella, we meet Jensen and Mia and get a taste of their relationship. We have some back and forth between present and past so you’re driven to keep reading because you’re curious to understand where they presently stand as it seems that they’re not currently together. Mia is on a date and Jensen texts her that he needs to see her. She instantly makes the decision to ditch her date at the end of the movie to go to Jensen.
They were together for two years. They claim to be completely in love with one another. Jensen gets an opportunity to go to NYU which will leave Mia behind in California.
Jensen is known as the ‘bad boy’ who rides a motorcycle. Mia’s family weren’t too thrilled with her dating Jensen. Being young and slightly immature, they let fear or mostly, Mia let fear of not trusting Jensen to be faithful to gear how this long distance time will go. While he goes to pursue his dreams in New York, they decide to not be together. They were going to be on a break while they’re apart. It’s a Ross and Rachel scenario my friends.
The BOMB plot twist is dropped causing a rift between them. Fast Forward: Their mutual friends are getting married, bringing them together after five years of being apart. It’s a confusing and painful reunion for Mia. After the wedding, Jensen heads back to New York and two months later, a job opportunity falls on Mia’s lap and guess where this little job will take her…yup, New York. So begins the difficult road for Mia and Jensen.
What I will say is that ‘No two people read the same book’. The book is beautifully written. My issues are not so much with the book but more that my own personal views and issues affected my read, if that makes sense.
Okay. I need to vent now.
SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!
Mia and Jensen were doing the ‘we’re not together, but kind of are when we’re in the same city again’ thing. It’s like an open relationship long distance but not?
The BOMB plot twist.
That text Jensen sent Mia during her date? So, she goes to him and she can tell something’s wrong with him but he’s being weird and evasive. He insists that he just needs to be with her. Alone. He sets it up that they’re going to a beach house-I think–where they can have a ‘let’s hide away, tangle our bodies in bed and forget the world’ day. Only, when they get there and head to hang out on the beach, Mia can’t take it anymore and needs to know what’s bothering him.
Let’s just rip the bandaid.
One of the girls he has been seeing in New York, well, he got her pregnant.
And…he’s going to marry her to do right by her because her family is rich and pompous and will disown their daughter.
Mia, doesn’t take this news well. OBVIOUSLY. This. This breaks them.
His biggest fear was to lose her. For her to leave. Like his mom did.
This is where the five year gap comes to play.
This was SO hard for me. I was angry for Mia. I was so upset that he did this. Then, I started getting mad at her. Later, we find out that she was dating guys galore, and there was one–Jensen went back home to see her–and Jensen found out that she was seeing and it was getting serious. This was before pregnancy, while they were back and forth while he was in NY. This apparently broke his heart, making him feel hopeless about their relationship and he started seeing and sleeping with this girl who he accidentally got pregnant.
Here’s where I’m upset. If you two claimed to love each other so deeply, and claimed that the other was their anchor, they felt broken since youth and found something deep within the other that grew into something intense and intimate; if you felt all that for the other, how could you date and sleep around with others. Plural. They saw each other during breaks. It wasn’t like you never saw each other. Long distance sucks and it’s hard but you can’t go half ass in a relationship either. That’s where stupid shit happens, exhibit A: Mia and Jensen. She felt betrayed and I get that but at the same time, she was dating and sleeping with other guys too. She’s just lucky that she didn’t end up getting accidentally pregnant like the girl Jensen dated. I think her name was Katie? Whatever, let’s call her Katie.
Five years later, it seems to be two years since Jensen got divorced. Him and Katie share time with his little girl and his and his ex-wife’s relationship is friendly and close which is just NOT easy for Mia to cope with when Jensen tries to pursue and win Mia back.
My emotions were just all over the place. I personally, was not able to get past Jensen getting another girl pregnant and then marrying her. But then, I had to admire that he wanted to be a good man and do the right thing but UGH! It was just SO HARD. And then I was mad at him for being mad at Mia because she didn’t stick around and be his anchor during that whole thing. Um. You’re marrying ANOTHER WOMAN! And having her baby. I couldn’t be around for that either, are you insane?!?!
But then you see how deeply, even after all these years, Jensen does love Mia. He’s never been the same without her. It’s such a heartbreaking and difficult circumstance that I was barely able to enjoy the good and sweet moments between Mia and Jensen because I was still hurt and angry, as if this were personally happening to me or a friend of mine.
So, in the end. They make it work and have their happily ever after.
I finished this book and didn’t know what to think or feel. I had so many intense conflicting emotions. I realized a lot about myself. Forgiveness, letting go and moving on are beautiful things. I obviously have a hard time doing those things. I couldn’t just trust him after something like that. Then again, I wouldn’t have done what Mia did and agreed to such a dangerous arrangement when they found themselves long distance.
Well, as you can see, reading is a very personally thing for me. I literally step into fictional character’s worlds and experience their fears, pain, joys, love, etc.
What do I rate this? I still couldn’t tell you. It’s been a week and I still feel strongly about all these contrasting emotions.
Have you read ‘Paper Hearts’? What are your thoughts?
I have a feeling I may be of the lesser opinion here. But hey! That’s okay.
No two persons ever read the same book