Hello World…Allegiant


(you have been warned)


So where have I been? Well, reading Allegiant, of course…then reacting to Allegiant…then…processing Allegiant…and…well, you’ll see.

It’s been a hectic two weeks, with work and all and then this week came.

Man, I have to say, I was so flipping excited for this book. I was stroking it saying, “My Precious” before I could read it. My heart was leaping outside my chest in anticipation, remembering how Insurgent ended. I was looking forward to Tris and Four’s relationship, after the hurricane rollercoaster it went through in Insurgent till, Oh, I don’t know…THE LAST FREAKING PAGE!

I was ready for some good FourTris feels. I was curious about Edith Prior and what was outside the fence. I was curious to see how this entire journey of hardship would end…

And here we freaking go…the foreshadowing of the sum of the book’s entire series now…everything else has been overshadowed by THIS:


The Divergent series was my favorite YA series. Divergent got me out of my reading slump and led me to fall in love with YA. This book and I have history. Veronica Roth’s journey which she shares online through her blog struck a cord with me. Her writing voice felt familiar and I related to her as a person in a blog which encouraged me to take the brave step of finally tackling writing a novel, as I had wanted for years to do.

On both a book level and a personal level, this series was very close to my heart. Being so, the conclusion of it felt personal. I pictured myself reading, and re-reading this series over and over throughout my life time.

So here’s the thing, I understand some people loving the “hipster” move of not ending books, movies in a cliche happy ending and shocking the reader and movie goer with a “realistic” outcome that leaves your heart sinking to the ocean floor.

I think of movie wise, Moulin Rouge and how that ended: I cried. I think of book wise, The Fault in Our Stars and how that ended: I cried.

Both of those heart wrenching, none cliche endings, though it hurt and kinda sucked “Feels” wise, you accepted it and still took it in as a

“Bravo, well done” *audience finally rise one by one onto a thunderous applause*

I just could NOT feel that way with this book.

It broke my heart.

It ruined the rest of the series for me, now as a whole.

I am apprehensive about watching the movies (but still debating it-granted I’ll stop at Insurgent).

 I couldn’t pick up another book due to lack of trust with authors and my heart (first two days).

It felt wrong. Her death…felt wrong.

Now after days of processing and finally feeling like I have claimed my emotional state again, and after reading TONS of reviews, I wonder…

I have to agree with some reviewers who mentioned other holes in the last book, aside from the ending. I too noticed no distinction between Four and Tris’ POV voice but meh, that honestly didn’t bother me; I’m not that picky of a book reader. I do however feel as though this last book had a sense of complete disconnection to the first two. I was suddenly, after the first 100 pages, reading an entirely different and sometimes overwhelming and confusing story.

Divergent and Insurgent felt cohesive, in the sense that one followed the other and all the elements remained true and consistent with the first book. I don’t know if it’s because “we” went past the wall and clearly stepped into polar opposite world to Chicago factions but something felt not like home with this book.

Even in Insurgent, and the emotional mess it was, I was still in Divergent series, clearly but didn’t feel that in Allegiant.

Four and Tris’ relationship felt completely disconnected here, even on the good parts. The first 100 pages still felt “Divergent” but after that (which again, could be because we left Chicago) felt unfamiliar, the character’s relationship I have grown to know and understand, flaws and all felt, unfamiliar. The infamous “Tris and Four” had sex scene…yea…no feels…whatsoever. I was confused and shocked at my having no “Feels”. Their more innocent scenes in the first two books pulled at my feels more than this supposed BIG moment in their relationship…which happens soon before SHE DIES! (Excuse me, I’m still processing that fact there.)

The massive world outside the fence was confusing. There were at times too much overwhelming information about all that was going on with the genetics, Natalie Prior pre-Tris, then the US. Government was brought into the subject and then Fringe rebellion, then memory, death serums, then, what???? It was…a lot.

All in all, I was rushing after the first 100 pages through the book to know what happens already. I didn’t feel the same pull while reading as I did with the first two books but I wanted to finally have it end, Tris and Four finally get their chance to not think of dying every five seconds and series over…


The one resolution I was looking forward to, after a heavy, disconnected, at times confusing feel of the book and she KILLED…TRIS and then made me “Watch” Tobias’ heart get ripped open, rub salt into and then have alcohol poured all over it!

Perhaps, if these other issues weren’t apparent, if perhaps we felt more satisfied with the time Tris and Four had left with one another, then just maybe, her death could have felt acceptable.

If one more person says,

“There was no other way it could have ended”

I will, in my mind, sucker punch them in the FACE! *grin*

OF COURSE IT COULD HAVE ENDED ANOTHER WAY! It could have ended a thousand ways! That’s the beauty of creativity, the possibilities are ENDLESS! Have her lose her memory if you wanted not the typical happily ever after, where two years later, they’d have to work on falling in love again.

Because, even though their relationship was stemmed from extreme circumstances, if that’s the only reason it could have worked (their relationship), it could have lasted, then I’m sorry, it was not love.

I love Tumblr by the way. They make me laugh. Tons of them have captured the emotions brilliantly…




and then my personal favorite, captioned:

someone pass me the memory serum I wanna forget I ever read the Divergent series


I have not BAWLED over a book, like I did with this one. There was Denial, Ache, Anger, Depression…I was genuinely going through the stages of grief with this thing here. I honestly yesterday, had wished I had never read Allegiant. I wanted to have known nothing further than Insurgent. I wanted Tobias to pass me the dang vile of Memory Serum and let me have at it. I wanted to forget.

I felt Tris was not justified. This sixteen year old girl lost everything, went through the butt of Hades and back, finally found the will to live again, super human-ed her way through death serum and then you freaking killed her with a gun. Yes, yes, I see what she did there: Four’s fear landscape came true, great…fabulous. Four did not get justice. He too lost everything. No one ever genuinely loved him. Here’s the one person who did and made him a better person and he loses that too. Sure, in the end he gets a half ass (excuse my french) relationship restoration with his mother, but he still aches 2 years later with the emptiness of Tris.

People say Tris wouldn’t have known how to live a normal life and her relationship with Four would have been strained by it. Bologna! There lies the challenge and test of true love. She grew up living a quiet simple life and roared for more. She got a life of more action and danger which killed her. I think, she could have found a happy medium in this new reality in the end and build a new reality in her relationship with Four, cause THAT too is reality.

Okay, I’m done ranting because I could probably rant forever.

Today, I’m happy to not be ruled by these emotions for this book as I was yesterday. It was bad. I’m so glad I didn’t have to go into work, because it was a sad scene let me tell you. Finally at night, got together with one of my besties and distracted myself, cause I had to.

I still value Divergent and Insurgent for what they are; amazing. Sure, I did not like or agree with the ending of the series but that’s okay because some of you loved how it ended, and thats okay too.

The beauty of many books, and their many varieties is that there is a little something for everyone out there.

Today I finally have the courage to pick up another book and read it. So, happy reading everyone!

Desi, out!

5 thoughts on “Hello World…Allegiant

  1. You know, I feel like it couldn’t have…. :p

    I did read some reviews that mentioned the ending would have been better if Tris simply had her memories wiped instead of dying. Even though I felt like her death was foreshadowed since Insurgent and definitely manifested itself once Tobias’ POV showed up in Allegiant, I kind of feel like her sacrifice would have been more heartfelt if she lost her memories. She’d be dead in a completely different sense, but still alive.

    I don’t mind that she died, but I do feel like the way it happened was out of character for David.

    By the by, since you felt so strongly about the ending. Do you think you’ll ever see yourself rereading the novels?

    Good review!

    1. Well no worries, I’m not as emotional as I was two days after reading it. There will be no (in my head) punching of faces for saying so 😉

      I have seen her (VRoth) interviews and read her blog explanation, and I understand and respect the vision she had. Unfortunately (which is okay) I do not agree with it still, as a reader. And I believe as a whole, something was lacking for me that made Tris’ death feel unsettling. That’s just me of course. Many others loved it as a whole, and that’s okay too. 🙂

      I’m not going to lie, the first two books are still painted in a certain light due to the still tender wound Allegiant left. I loved the first two books. They were my top YA reads. Perhaps, with some time, I’ll find my back to them. I may not be re-reading the last one though. I’ll stop at Insurgent and imagine my own ending. ^_^

      Thanks again for reading and for your comment!

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